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| Sh!t movie review |
BY C STONE | THE SUPER HOT /||' MOVIE REVIEWS '||\
Having watched this horror movie that apparently has massive positive reviews. But personally, having watched it, and actually disliked it - but let me explain first.
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| This is exactly like Tinder |
If you're a person who loves horror movies with gore, psychopathic behaviors, graphic violence and gore - well, this is the movie for you. Have you ever thirsted to see a woman hit herself in the forehead with a statue until a crack appears? Not me, and quite honestly, I felt sick watching that. And this is from someone who watched all Human Centipede series. It was just so unbelievable.
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| With a murderous smile, she says "I love you!" |
Whether it was a magic wish cracker or chunk of willow tree, it doesn't matter. The plot and pretense are so awful I wanted to punch the man who played the one who pulled that twig. Dear God, was he that desperate to find someone? Clearly she was looney after being stretched to believe she was infatuated with this person.
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| Obsession 2:Our hero snaps another willow stick and gets trapped into a sexless marriage |
And I'm not writing out against the actor who played him - just the role. The acting was great. The violence, and gore? Maybe I'm just too fucking old to care now. What scares me is that people think this might be normal behavior - maybe, if you were locked up in an insane asylum. Protip: It's not bad, once you get used to the food.
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| "Have you heard the word of the WATCHTOWER?" she yells. |
So what did I think? Well, it had excessive gore and violence. The plotline wasn't clear enough for me. What exactly was she doing smashing her head in? For whom and what reason? Was he worth it? I have no fucking clue. Honestly, if you hate gore and violence, just skip this movie.
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| "Am I pregnant? I better check with One Wish Willow!" |
Compared to the backrooms, which is a far more simple movie than it appears - as long as you don't go searching for those hidden easter eggs.
If you're that literal lunatic that enjoys punching yourself in the face, well then, maybe this movie would be for you. Honestly, I found the dialog ridiculous and unbelievable. There is no chance in HELL this woman would date this man - even WITH an actual wish. Instead, she'd probably pretend to be nice, then murder him in his sleep.
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| "I'll finally have that 3-way you wanted!" as she holds her best friends severed head. |
Kind of sounds like my family.
But anyway, if you choose to watch this monstrosity I hope you are prepared.
It's awful.
CS
