Christmas Themes

 

BY C STONE | THE SUPER HOT || EDITOR IN CHIEF |||| FASHION

Wearing Christmas-themed clothes shouldn't be illegal, but sometimes, it feels that way. The sweet and sexy Christmas look is back and in high demand. 

Black leather pants, usually super tight, along with a tacky Christmas shirt or sweater. These are the clothing themes I am thinking about. Designed out of a dystopian nightmare where the only three colors are green, red, and gold. Just awful.

I draw the line at wearing Christmas tinsel on clothes, unless it's strategically placed on the hips. The red shoes, purse, and Xmas decorations should stay at home.

If you're a man and stupid enough to wear Taylor-Swift inspired lipstick, I hate to break it to you: Don't. It never looked good, not even once. Expect ridicule and the pursuit of awful people.

And what is with that awful combover? Just stop.

I think everyone can remember when Aunt Mary or Uncle Joe had a little too much to drink and began humping the Christmas tree. Out on the front yard. I was never a fan of those annoying portable LED Christmas lights you can wear.

And you'd be surprised how much alcohol loosens up those previous inhibitions. Sometimes, it's best never to invite family over for Christmas.

Christmas is the time where you take your best behavior and treat other people like normal human beings - but just for a day or so. Who else says Merry Christmas to the 7-11 clerks on Boxing Day?

Christmas is the time for fast fashion. Embrace that urge to purchase vast amounts of cheap clothes made in third world countries - mostly. And as you sit back, half drunk, ignoring those annoying texts and calls from your significant other - just remember: We're all in this together!